Saturday, January 30, 2016

Guys, I figured it out

I've seen a lot of fan theories on here since Episode Seven, but after taking like five handfuls of opiates and watching Return of the Jedi seven times I've figured it out.

Rey is Kylo Ren's Sister.


Remember this asshole?

This is Leia, Rey and Kylo Ren's mother. But Han didn't fertilize that. His pull out game is way too strong. But I know what you're asking. "If Rey isn't the product of the sweaty loin grinding of a bikini-clad princess and marauding stallion of a loose-cannon smuggler, then who is the father?" Well prepare yourselves. Because it's...

Remember how he takes off his mask?

WELL GUESS WHAT. This is just another mask. Another beautiful, shovel-faced mask.


The Real Kylo Ren. When Episode 8 comes out, I won't say I told you so.

TR-8R Tax. Always b loyal


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